Shamed into Making The Right Choice

Tracy Lamperti

When our nation clued into the fact that seat belts save lives, it was the school that drilled it into our children’s mind. The children brought this information home and shamed their parents into wearing seat belts.


When the nation clued into the fact that smoking is bad for us, and second-hand smoke is especially bad for children, it was the schools that drilled these facts into the children’s minds, thus, children came home and shamed their parents into smoking outside or quitting altogether.

Our nation should be clued into the fact that violent video games, violent TV shows and violent movies breed violent thinking, overstimulate wrong regions of the brain and desensitize people. I include everything in these categories from online video games like “Call of Duty”, to horror movies like “Scary Movie”, TV shows like “Sponge Bob Square Pants”, to reality shows of many kinds, and even the TV news programs.


Maybe it is the schools that need to drill it into our children’s mind that all of this violent “entertainment” is bad for people. Maybe then the children would come home and “shame” the older children and adults in their life to partake of that kind of destructive “entertainment” out of the house.

In the meantime…


  1. Teach your child that it is perfectly acceptable and you would be proud of them if they were to step out of a room where anything violent is being shown or played. Even if it is you, their parent, showing or playing it!
  2. Teach your child that it is perfectly acceptable to close or cover their eyes if they are watching a movie and something scary seems to be about to happen.
  3. Teach your child that they MUST ALWAYS get your permission before watching any movie or playing any video game or participating in anything that is something that they think you may not know about. There should be NO SHAME for a child or teen in calling a parent and running something by them. If they are worried about being teased, tell them they can make up a story (though I don’t typically advocate fibbing), “I need to call (or text) my dad (or mom) because I forgot to feed the cat before I left.”
  4. Parents, get back to your own childhood. Teach your child that there are endless ways to have fun that are safe and do not involve violence. And yes, included in my list of fun, nonviolent activities are things like target shooting. A correct mindset about bows and arrows and even guns, (or knife throwing – as we do on occassion in our backyard) is not violence. Other fun things that you might remember doing, …building go-carts and forts, models, puzzles, board games, pool, carpetball, slot car racing, bike riding, baking, crafts……….


Fill your lives with fun and love! Have fun with your children and love them with your whole heart!


Tracy Lamperti, Psychotherapist, Consultant, Educator

The Dopifying of Men and Boys These Days

By Tracy Lamperti • March 30, 2025
Do you get it that every time we seem to turn on the tv, news or in the movies these days the boys and men are getting terrible representation? Whether they are kowtowing to a bossy woman, making obscene gestures or noises, getting drunk or on drugs, committing some stupid crime, espousing the effeminate or acting like a pompus a__, or the countless other ways that they are being portrayed. What was wrong with Davy Crockett, or Huck Finn, Andy Griffith, Superman? Why have Sponge Bob and Homer Simpson and the many other “men” of today been selling by being so stupid? I am not up on any of today’s shows, but I get the point from the stories I hear, that it is not good. Even when an olympic star comes into the spotlight, all too often the story is tainted by some remark or behavior he made, not realizing everyone was watching. Where are the boys supposed to get their education? And what about the girls? Where are they supposed to learn who would make a good husband and father?  What brought this on was my prepping for morning meeting tomorrow at the Lamperti Homeschool. I was looking for something good in The Children’s Book of Virtues , Edited by William J. Bennett, Illustrated by Michael Hague. I just happened to open to page 38, Boy Wanted , by Frank Crane. I won’t put the whole story here, but here is a sample.

Before You Seek Therapy For Your Child

By Tracy Lamperti • March 30, 2025
Photo by Michelle Kaye

Talking Beans

By Tracy Lamperti • March 30, 2025
What are those? Are those beans? What are they for? Can I touch them? One can learn a lot about a child by watching them play. Play gives us a glimpse into the thought process, emotions, relationships and the way they organise and put things together. With beans, even a teenager or adult can “sort things out” with beans, sand and other materials. Beans make a good medium for tea parties, hide and seek, play ground play, imaginative water, etc. In fact, beans can bring comfort to all ages. Children who don’t feel like they have a voice or have trouble sharing their thoughts and feelings often find themselves running their hands through the field of beans. The same goes for teenagers. Little ones, of course want to play with the beans, which provides a great opportunity to evaluate self-control, adherance to limits and their depth of imagination or level of organization. Beans are awesome! The video shown here represents a variety of bean benefits! An older adolescent, actually, a young adult, worked out many complicated issues in her sessions week after week while sorting beans. This person successfully sorted out ALL of the kidney beans, sorting on many levels! It is so curious to children to come to their therapy session and notice that something has happened involving the beans. It gives children and teens a real sense of commonality with others as well as insight. They come to learn that some people think like they do and some think differently, and it’s all ok. They learn that, while I may share something about the “beans,” I won’t “spill the beans.” They can trust that I will keep their confidence, just like I keep the confidence of the last “bean worker.” As you see in the video, a young person is re-mixing the kidney beans. This young person, being someone who really struggles with self-control and had been held back for weeks from mixing the beans that had been sorted out. We shared such a delightful moment when she was finally permitted to “mix!” Timing is so important, but relationship is more! So the cycle will continue when many young people come in this week and discover the new state of the beans!  Tracy Lamperti, Psychotherapist, Educator, Consultant
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